He wanted to come back yesterday. I told him he couldn’t just come back as quickly as he left. All he could say is that he fucked up and wanted to make things right. But he refuses rehab. Then he started to blame everything on me and I ended up screaming and crying. My son picked up my phone and told him to not call me anymore. 2 minutes later our phones were turned off.
Now I know that it takes 2 to tango. It takes 2 to make a relationship work and it takes 2 for a relationship to not work. But I absolutely will not take any blame for this. HECK, we were 7 states away. He chose to get drunk and go crazy. How is that my fault. And last year when he tried to kill me? That was my fault too. According to him, because I was a bitch that day.
I have stuck with him through so much. I stayed with him while he was in jail. I even helped him get an attorney and pay off his fine. I helped him after his surgery. I have stuck with him through literally dozens and dozens of “alcoholic episodes”. But this is the 3rd time he has left. Simply because he got drunk and wasn’t “thinking clearly”.
It is time I move on. I love him. I saw him today. And I wanted to hold him and I wanted him to hold me. But he barely even looked at me. I know why he refuses to go to rehab. Because if he does, then his “secret” will be out. All his family and acquaintances will know the truth about him and his double life will be exposed. He can’t let that happen. He chooses instead to lose me.